Newsflash: None of us is getting out of here alive.¹
From Reuters here are the latest sin tax shenanigans:
U.S. researchers estimate that an 18 percent tax on pizza and soda can push down U.S. adults’ calorie intake enough to lower their average weight by 5 pounds (2 kg) per year.
The researchers, writing in the journal Archives of Internal Medicine on Monday, suggested taxing could be used as a weapon in the fight against obesity, which costs the United States an estimated $147 billion a year in health costs.
“While such policies will not solve the obesity epidemic in its entirety and may face considerable opposition from food manufacturers and sellers, they could prove an important strategy to address overconsumption, help reduce energy intake and potentially aid in weight loss and reduced rates of diabetes among U.S. adults,” wrote the team led by Kiyah Duffey of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
With two-thirds of Americans either overweight or obese, policymakers are increasingly looking at taxing as a way to address obesity on a population level.
Because I am a genius mathematician I have quickly deduced that if an 18% tax on pizza and soda can cause people to lose five pounds a year, a 100% tax on pizza and soda can cause them to lose more than twenty five pounds a year. In fact, because I take a backseat to no one in my humanitarian zeal to ensure the health of my fellow Americans, I say we just outlaw pizza altogether.²
Especially the cheese wiz and ketchup-topped cardboard they keep servin’ up over there at Dominos.
Footnotes:
¹ Nanny-stater Mika Zbrezinski of Morning Joe just now said we should make it illegal for parents to let their children drink soda pop. Hey, Mika, if you really want to save lives, just outlaw childbirth. We’re all mortal beings and that’s the surest killer of them all.
² Alternatively, we could just force all chubby people to wear an electric collar that shocks them whenever they drift within a football field of a Pizza Hut. Come to think of it, we should probably tax electric collars and football, too.
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- Backdoor Tax: Obama to Consider Consumption Tax?
- Tax Piranha
- Obama Thinks Soda Tax Might be a Good Idea
- A Fed Tax on Bad Foods?
- Botax?
4 responses so far ↓
1 Chad Bordeaux // Mar 9, 2010 at 10:36 am
These “researchers” just reinforce what I have been saying all alone. Taxation is not about revenue – it is about controlling peoples lives and actions.
Really, do we really have to try to limit people’s freedom to be fat and unhealthy? If someone wants to be obese, they should have the freedom to do so – without having to pay additional taxes for that freedom.
Oh, and as a long time Domino’s hater, I must say that the new recipe is worth trying. It is far from the best pizza on the market, but the one I got was only like $5. It may be the best $5 pizza on the market.
2 Peter // Mar 9, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Chad,
I agree. Perhaps we should just have a tax on bad parenting.
3 Heather // Mar 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm
so basically, because people can’t muster up some willpower to be healthy i have to pay more for my pizza? no thank you.
4 Peter // Mar 11, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Heather,
I wonder if the vegetarian pizza I order is subject to the same tax as the pepperoni, sausage, double-extra cheese, chocolate, potato chip pizza other people order.
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